It's a new week

Happy Tuesday. I am sitting here with the kids and we are watching a Veggie Tales movie. Of course Maddie and Carter can never agree on what one to watch. They teach good lessons so I do not mind the kids watching them! Yesterday Adam and I met with Maddie's therapist in Algona. She received the report from the doctor in Mason City and wanted to go over it with us. We learned that she does not have anything wrong psychologically. The tests showed that she is above average intelligence. However, she really struggles with problem solving skills. She goes over and over things in her mind but never really is able to get to the point of making a decision or solving a problem. The reports show that she is very manipulative and knows very well what she is doing. She is actually screaming out for boundaries and rules. The test showed that I am not enough of an enforcer with her and the Adam is too much of an enforcer with her. So, he and I need to balance that out. He needs to focus more on complimenting her when she does good and I need to step up and do more of the disciplining. We also learned how some of the positive praise we give her could actually hurt her more than it helps her. We have always told Maddie how smart she is and how happy we are when she gets good grades. We have boasted about how she excells at all sports. Basically what we have done is set her up for failure. When she does not get 100% or when she makes a bad play in a ball game she feels like a failure. Then she does not have confidence in herself when she tries again. We need to praise her for her efforts rather than her results. She does not know how to "lose". There is an article I was given to read today from Maddie's teacher and it really made me think about things in a different way. Adam went to parent teacher conferences this morning and the teacher said that Maddie is doing well at school. We were happy to hear that. Parenting is a job where there is always room to grow and learn.